Learning Process
by pandora1017
Summary: Matt meets Amy and invites her to join OMEGA. Matt likes Amy. Amy... well, it gets difficult.
1. 1 of 6

Title: "Learning Process"  
Author: pandora1017  
Rating: PG - 13  
Content: Language  
Notes: I don't really know the time frame of this. I'm shooting for somewhere around '98. I made a lot up. That's the basis of fanfic.  
Characters: [and mentions] [none of these people are mine]  
Matt = Matt Hardy = Matt Hardy  
Jeff = Jeff Hardy = Jeff Hardy  
Amy = Amy Dumas = Lita  
Shane = Shane Helms = The Hurricane  
Shannon = Shannon Moore = 'Sensational' Shannon Moore [developmental talent]  
Mike = Mike Maverick = Shane Helms's partner in the Serial Thrillaz, back in the day  
Jason = Jason Ahmdt = Joey Abs

 .

 "Hello?"

 "Hey, Mom." I held the phone tenderly with both hands, struck with the sudden, slight case of homesickness I got whenever I heard my mom's voice.

 "Hi, sweetie. How was your wrestling thing tonight?"

 "The show?"

 "You know what I mean." I could hear the smile in her voice and I smiled myself.

 "It was actually really great."

 "How much did you make?"

 "Twenty five, but that's not what I mean."

 "What happened?"

 "I met these two guys who invited me to come to their school." I answered, bursting with excitement.

 "That's... nice," Mom answered, slowly, not really reciprocating my excitement.

 "No, really, Ma, I'm excited. It sounds like I have a lot in common with these guys. I think I'll learn a lot there."

 "There?"

 I hesitated. "It's over here on the east coast. In North Carolina."

 "Oh, Amy..."

 "It won't be that bad, Mom. It's not really that far. I've been further."

 "I know, but..."

 "No, really, Ma..."

 "Are you sure this is really what you want to do? I mean, professional wrestling? It's just so..."

 "Mom, you know how much I want to do this. I've finally found something I can do well, I love it."

 "But it's not a very lucrative career. What if you don't make it into the big time? Maybe you should consider going back to school and..."

 I sighed. I couldn't believe I was hearing this. "Mom. I want to wrestle. I've worked hard and put a lot of time into it. After doing all I've done so far, I can't be happy doing anything else. I know it."

 "I know it, too, sweetie. I was just checking. I know that if this is really what you want to do, you will be the best at it." I smiled and shook my head. She pulled this on my every once in a while, and I fell for it each time. She continued. "Well, just make sure that you keep us updated on what you're doing. I want to make sure my little girl is ok."

 "Of course, Ma. Absolutely."

 "And make sure you're having fun. I just want you to be happy."

 "I know, I know. I am happy."

 "I love you, Amy."

 "I love you, too, Mom."

 "We all miss you." The homesickness swayed in me again, but I just held onto the phone as if it were an extension of my mother.

 "I miss you all, too."

 "Ok, get some sleep. It's late here, and even later over there."

 "All right. I'll call you soon."

 "Of course. Bye, sweetie."

 "Bye, Mom."

 "I am happy," I repeated it to myself as I hung up the pay phone. I couldn't tell if I was telling myself or trying to convince myself. I had landed badly on a moonsault tonight and jarred my arm, leaving my shoulder sore. But I was getting used to these little injuries, I hardly noticed the constant soreness anymore. It was worth it though, I was having fun. I was learning. Like I told my mom, there had been two guys in the audience from North Carolina who had their own school and they offered to train me more. I was stoked. Finally, a steady gig again. The Organization of Modern Extreme Grappling Arts. OMEGA. It wasn't exactly the WWF, but it was better than nothing.

 "Hey," I heard a voice behind me and turned quickly, finally letting go of the phone, and found myself looking into the dark eyes of the guy who'd just half an hour or so ago invited me to his school. I racked my brain for his name. Matt. Matt Hardy. I smiled back, sweeping some long, blonde strands nervously behind my ear.

 "Hey there."

 I didn't really feel that comfortable around him. We didn't really have that much in common. He seemed to be your average, clean cut, 'good ol' boy' from the south. He had slightly long, dark, curly hair, a thick accent, was built like an ox, and seemed to just be slightly... well, hickish. True, I wasn't exactly from north of the Mason-Dixon line, either, but I grew up moving from city to city, and I'd traveled to Chicago, New York, hell, Europe and Mexico. I liked to consider myself somewhat cosmopolitan. But I was on my best behavior. I wanted to be nice to him, he was going to help me. He, and his brother, had been impressed with the effort I put out tonight, so much that they wanted to help train me. They had told me their about their school, and it seemed like a lot of the awesome aerial stuff was involved, stuff I'd gone all the way to Mexico to learn.

 "Jeff suggested that I give y'th'address an' directions t'our federation. We figured that might help y'get there."

 I blushed. How stupid of me not to ask for that earlier. Jeff was Matt's brother. I felt that I connected better with Jeff. Jeff wasn't quite as... 'southern'.. as Matt. He was blond, not quite as built, and he seemed much more laid back. He had some tattoos and piercings, to which I could relate, and he came off as calmer. I had noticed a very introspective side to Jeff right away. He was a watcher, he spent lots of time taking in everything around him. I had felt almost as if Jeff were a kindred spirit to myself right away.

 I watched as Matt took a folded sheet of paper out of his pocket, a flier that had been handed out at the show, and started writing down directions. He seemed very meticulous. I watched as he worked, dedicatedly. He had surprisingly neat handwriting.

 I stopped myself for a second. That was a very random thought. Matt finished after a second.

 "Here y'are. It's about an hour or so south of here, jus' outside of Raleigh. So if y'drive more than an hour an' a half, y'most likely missed us." He smiled. I smiled back, still nervously, taking the paper from him. The directions were pretty straightforward and I nodded.

 "Wow, I really appreciate this opportunity. I promise, you won't regret it."

 "I know we won't." He grinned. "Will we be seein' y'soon?"

 "Yeah, yeah, I promised one more show with these guys you saw tonight, but I'll go right after that."

 "Great. Well, it was nice t'meet you, Amy. I look forward t' workin' with y'soon." He hesitated. "We do, I mean."

 I thought I saw a slight blush and bit the inside of my lip. That's not really what I needed right now. Sure, he was the typical tall, dark, and handsome, but I was too busy learning to fight to worry about relationships. I forced a smile. "Yeah, me too. See you soon."

 "Absolutely," he answered, scanning my eyes with warm brown eyes a second before turning and walking away. I had a feeling that, not matter how hard I tried to lose it, that look would be stuck with me a while. Looking up again, I noticed his brother standing at the other end of the hallway, examining a trophy case on the wall. When Matt walked towards him, he looked up, slightly surprised, then cast a glance towards me. I smiled and waved socially, and Jeff waved back. Matt saw this, turned and the two waved once more before leaving. I sighed, pocketing the directions, then went to look at the display case that Jeff'd been looking at. Mike French and his pole vault record. There was only one thought in my mind as I caught my reflection in the glass protecting the trophies. I was taking the right steps to getting away from wrestling in junior college gyms forever. My mom was right. Someday, I'd be the best.


	2. 2 of 6

Oh, fuck, it was getting black. I knew this feeling. Here come the stars.

"Amy!"

I tried my best to sit up, I didn't want anyone to know how hard I'd hit. Stupid! It was stupid of me! I knew how to take a bump. Tuck your chin down so you don't bounce your head off the mat. Hell, I'd learned that in judo, way back when.

"Amy? Amy? Say somethin'!"

I suddenly realized that I'd been trying to sit up, rather unsuccessfully, for the past couple of minutes. I felt fingers brush the side of my face. I opened my eyes to the scary sight of blackness. Yes, I was sure my eyes were open, but I couldn't see shit. Fuck.

"I'm all right," I muttered. Ah, here came the colors again. Shapes followed shortly. Yes, only a mild concussion, I'd had tons of these. I'd been fine soon. Finally, I was able to focus on the dark figure above me, Shane Helms, through the stars. I tried to smile and sit up, and I succeeded at the first. Shane had powerbombed me, and I took the bump badly. I knew it was my fault. But he must have thought... "I'm all right."

"I'm sorry 'bout that, sweetie! How many fingers -"

He was cut off as a smaller blonde shoved him out of the way, kneeling next to me.

"Amy?"

Time to get up, for real. I sat up and Jeff jumped back, surprised. Dizziness crashed over me again with a wave of black, and I dropped my head into my hand. "I'm fine, fine."

"Are y'sure?" Jeff asked. The blackness dissipated but the stars remained. My vision came back, focusing on Jeff, who was sitting back on his heels, eye-level with me. I smiled a goofy smile. I felt drunk.

"I promise. I need to stand up."

"I doubt that," Jeff chuckled, slightly, and slid under my arm to help me to my feet. I noticed half the boys from OMEGA standing around the ring, concerned. Jeff led me, stumbling, to the side of the ring. Oddly enough, one of the few things I could focus on was Jeff's older brother, sitting in the front row of chairs outside the ring. The only one in the arena who'd had enough faith in me to let me handle myself. But I could just see the concern in his dark eyes. Almost as if he were more concerned than anyone else there. I don't know why I suddenly felt that, considering he was the only one who hadn't rushed to my aid. Goddammit, trying to figure it out only made my head hurt more. The next thing I knew, Jeff was handing me down to someone on the ground. I don't know who, I was still watching Matt.

"Go sit by Matt, Amy. I'll get y'some asprin."

I nodded slowly, feeling my brain rattle in my head, in response to Jeff's command. I realized that it was Shane who was taking me slowly to Matt. Matt, however, didn't move. He maintained eye contact with me, and followed me as I went from my feet to the chair.

"Y'ok, kid?" Matt asked, finally, when I sat next to him. I was greatful that he was downplaying this. I felt a need to impress him, to keep up his original impression of me. I had learned over time that he was the one who wanted me here, Jeff just kind of went along with things. Matt was the real brains of this operation. I also was singled out because Matt and Jeff tended to not take on girls. I wanted to really impress them. Him. But it was hard. I felt very uncomfortable around him. As if he was always judging me.

"Yeah, it wasn't as bad as all that," I shrugged. My vision was already becoming clearer when Jeff returned with a large bottle of some sports drink and a couple asprin. "I don't really need -"

Jeff smiled slightly. "Then f'my benefit?"

I smiled slightly and took the items, giving in. "Thanks."

"Not a problem. Make sure y'drink all that," Dr. Jeff ordered. I nodded, downing the pills. "Matt, y'make sure -"

"Absolutely," Matt said, quickly, cutting him off. "Would y'mind finishin' off this exercise with Shane?"

"Sure," Jeff drawled, nodding at Matt. Matt smiled softly, dissolving the hard look, and Jeff went back to the ring. He stood eye to eye with Shane and a smirk crossed his face. "Y'try that with me an' you'll find y'self in a world of trouble."

Shane grinned and the two discussed what Shane and I'd been doing. I glanced at Matt out of the corner of my eye, taking another drink. He was so businesslike. Even being harsh with his brother. I was slightly annoyed at how callous he was being to him. Me, I expected it. But Jeff was his brother. He was just trying to be nice. It was almost as if Matt had no concern for Jeff's worries. Like everything had to be black and white, straight across the board.

Typical, I fumed to myself, turning to watch Jeff and Shane work. Matt was just some backwards country boy. He'd had everything laid out for him. He knew his whole life he'd wanted to wrestle, he'd even been in WWF matches a couple times. He had everything planned out, clear cut. He'd lived in little old Cameron, North Carolina his whole damn life, in the same house. He didn't have to spend a childhood moving from town to town, closing him into the hard life of a nomad forever. He didn't have to make new friends every couple years when he moved, and therefore learned the art of compromise. He hadn't spent the first twenty years of his life never knowing what he would be doing or where he would be doing it. It was as if everything had to be his way or no way. He glided right over the grey areas of everything.

Jesus, the more I thought about it, the angrier I got. How dare he treat Jeff like that? Just because Jeff wasn't as straightlaced as he was. Jeff was more open, more flexible. These were qualities that Matt obviously never had to develop. What an asshole.

I took another drink from the bottle Jeff had given me and slouched down in my chair to watch the action in the ring. Jeff and Shane were trying to let Shane plan a match, then run it. At least, that's what Shane and I'd been doing until recently, so I just assumed. Right now, Shane was getting up on the top rope. Jeff stumbled around in the middle of the ring and finally turned to face Shane. At this, Shane jumped, feet first, from the top rope, hooked his legs around Jeff's head, then fell back into a slightly twisted hurrican rana, throwing Jeff to the ground. Holy shit, that was the coolest thing I'd ever seen. I sat up suddenly, ignoring the shortened black out from the sudden movement.

"Y'like that?"

I looked to Matt, surprised. I sputtered for words. "I.. wha... yeah!"

"Y'could do that."

"Ah, well..."

Matt smirked a bit. "After y'start seein' clear again."

I looked at him with a childish giddiness that I would chide myself for later. "You think so?"

"I know so. Y'do some pretty crazy stuff out there. I bet that's easier than a moonsault, especially f'someone y'size."

I turned back to the ring, my eyes lighting up. "That would kick ass."

"Y'gonna do it, then. T'morrow. We'll give it a shot."

"Tomorrow?"

"I think y'done f'th'day, kid. Sorry."

I nodded, sinking back into my seat, taking another drink. I think Shane had landed that funny, he was moving a little slower now. I wasn't sure if I was ready to try that top rope rana tomorrow, but now I had to. Dammit. I tugged the hair-tie out of my hair, realizing that I really was done for the day. My dark-blonde hair tumbled over my shoulders, and I shook it back behind me. I caught Matt watching me out of the corner of my eye, but pretended that I didn't. I don't know how the hell he thought he could be such a pompous asshole and still my friend. Jeff's behavior was fine for both teacher and peer, but Matt had this air about him, like he was better than everyone. Maybe that was why I was trying so hard to impress him. He was just so freaking intimidating. I don't think he could be social if he tried. He wasn't a person, he was a machine. I sighed, and finished off the drink that Jeff had given me, then capped the bottle. I began fidgeting with the bottle, absently, still feeling nervous under Matt's gaze.

"Amy?"

I tensed. "Yeah?"

"What are you doing tonight?"

I bit the inside of my lip. Why had I known that he was going to say that? "Ah, I think I'm just going to go to my place and take it easy."

Matt fell silent and looked back to the ring. After a pause, "This weekend?"

My God, he was straightforward. I guess that deserved a straightforward answer. "Matt, I'm really flattered - really - but I don't think that it's a good idea. I mean..."

I hesitated. I really hoped that I wasn't killing my opportunity here. Stupid. No, no, that wasn't it. I wasn't going to sleep my way into the business. No fucking way. I cast a nervous glance to Matt, hoping that he wouldn't do anything rash.

"I understand."

It was painful. The look in his eyes spoke volumes, emotions that I hadn't even thought he had. I bit the inside of my lip again, trying to repress any emotions. This wasn't the way. I felt bad doing it, but... There was a intense, silent exchange between us until Matt finally looked away, chagrined. Well, I had been kind of waiting for that. And it was over, I hoped. I sighed, dismayed, and got up from my chair. I don't know what compelled me, but I headed straight for the door, grabbing my duffel bag as I left. I didn't even bother changing. The hot Carolina sun hit me as I burst outside, but I made my way straight for my car.

"I hope this doesn't affect practice tomorrow..." I muttered to myself, fumbling with my keys, hardly able to focus enough to find the right key to open the car. 


	3. 3 of 6

"Mom?"

"Hi, sweetie. How's North Carolina?"

"It's great, Ma," I lied, trying to ignore the stress put on me here. I had called my mom tonight to hear a familiar voice. Jeff and the guys were fine, but Matt was really pushing me. I was meeting his challenges, so far, but they kept getting harder. I was learning, nothing else mattered. "I'm learning a lot."

"That's great, Amy. How are the guys treating you?"

"Just like one of them," I smiled, knowing that wasn't really the answer she wanted to hear. But it was the right answer for me. I knew that I wasn't the only one Matt was pushing like this, he wanted us all to be the best.

"How are you holding up?"

"Mentally or physically?" I asked. Ah, shit. That'd make her worry.

"Both," she answered firmly.

"I'm great, Ma, I swear. Absolutely super."

"We're just worried about you, sweetie. We don't want our little Amy to get hurt."

"I promise, nothing too brutal. I'll be fine. How's everything at home?"

"We're great. We just miss you."

I sighed. Homesickness reared it's ugly head again. No, not homesickness. I didn't want to go home, I had no real association with the building. I wanted to see my family. I wanted to see my mom. "I miss you guys, too."

"We know, sweetie, we know."

There was an awkward pause.

"So when will we be seeing you on TV?"

I laughed, "Don't hold your breath, it's going to be a while."

"But you're getting there?"

My mom was very concerned with me having a stable life ahead of me. She knew how hard it was for me to move around my whole childhood. She knew that I was still struggling, that's why I couldn't stop moving. Not that it was a bad thing. She just wanted me to be successful.

"Yeah, I'm getting there. Matt thinks I have a lot of potential." Not that he shows it. He was always so cold, so matter-of-fact. Sure, he'd tell me if I did something good, but that was few and far between. Which was fine by me, I didn't need constant reassurance. I didn't.

"Matt is..."

"It's his school, and his brother's."

"Oh, the two who've been on WWF TV." And we're back to this fixation.

"Yeah, them."

"Can they get you in with the WWF?"

"They've only jobbed a couple of matches, Ma. They don't have that much sway."

"Jobbed matches?"

"Lost a couple of matches. To the big stars."

"Oh." A pause. "Are you having fun, sweetie?"

I considered. "Yeah, I am."

"That's the important thing."

It really meant a lot to hear her say that. To show that she wasn't just concerned with me being able to support myself, but to be happy. I choked back some tears. I wasn't really sure if I was happy, but I still knew that this was what I wanted to do. Even if it was stressful now, I would be happy. "Thanks, Mom."

"Anytime, sweetie. Are you really ok?"

"Yeah, I am," I answered slowly, trying to keep my voice level. It wasn't very effective. "I swear."

"You can tell me anything, you know that."

"I do, Mom. And I appreciate it."

"But if it's wrestling, I might not understand," she laughed.

"Thanks, Mom," I laughed, too. Good, that helped dissipate the tears. "But I'm fine, really."

"It's just... well, you sound a little..."

"It's just a little stressful here, that's all. Everything is going well."

"You can call me anytime, baby. You know I'm here for you."

I smiled. That's what I needed to hear. It was weird that my best friend was my mother, but it did simplify some things. "I know, Momma. I know."

"I'm sure you're doing great. You're knocking them dead over there."

I blushed, even though she'd never know it. "That I am, Mom."

"Naturally."

I caressed the phone, like a true link to my mom. I felt a tear roll down my cheek. Funny, I hadn't cried for a damn long time, and the first time I do, it was because of the person I love the most. Maybe it was just because she was the one person I still felt comfortable enough to cry around. I wiped away that tear, and it was quickly followed by two more.

"Amy? Are you still there?"

"Yeah, Ma," I choked out. God, the crying was obvious now.

"Oh, sweetie, don't worry. Do you want me to come see you?"

I couldn't help but laugh. "Mom, I'm all the way in North Carolina."

"Anything for you, Amy."

"I love you, Ma," I sighed, trying to regain my composure.

"I love you, too."

I wiped away more tears and heard footsteps. Oh, shit. I didn't want anyone to see me crying! I wiped my eyes brusquely, realizing as I did it that it would only make my eyes redder. I guess that's what I get for calling home during practice.

"I hate to cut this short, Mom, but I think I have to go."

"Oh, all right, sweetie. Cheer up, ok? Remember, we love you."

"Thanks, Ma, I love you, too."

"I'll talk to you later."

"Ok, bye."

I quickly hung up the pay phone, my hand unconsciously lingering on the receiver, as I spun to see who was approaching. It was Shannon. He had been smiling, but it changed into a look of concern as he noticed me.

"Hey, Amy, y'ok?"

"Yeah, yeah," I answered, looking away and crossing my arms over my stomach to rest on the opposite hips.

"Y'sure?" He set a hand on my shoulder to turn my attention to him. I looked, almost involuntarily.

"Yeah."

"Y'look like you've been -"

"I'm fine, I swear. My contacts are bothering me."

Shannon took his hand back, chastised. That came out harsher than I meant it to.

"Both of...? Wait, y'wear -?" I cut him off with a sharp glance. He raised his brows, surprised, but he understood. He sighed and set his hands on his hips, backing off from me, and nodded his head. "Um, yeah. Well, Matt was lookin' f'you. He said he wants t'try somethin' new."

"Ok," I answered, nodding, trying to act much tougher than I felt. I don't know why I was trying to intimidate poor Shannon. He hadn't done anything. Shannon turned away from me, for me to follow. So I did, hanging my head. The feeling of relief that had come with finally crying, the little that I did, was quickly oppressed by my mistreating my friends.


	4. 4 of 6

God, he was charismatic in the ring. I leaned against a wall in the corner with a terrible view. It was a good view, originally. But when Matt was fighting, the crowd was on it's feet - blocking my view. This was a singles match, for once, where Matt was taking on Mike Maverick. Jeff and Shane were back stage, somewhere around me, watching their tag team partners square off. Matt and Mike were doing very well. Just now, Matt was climbing to the top rope. I couldn't see Mike and assumed he was down, setting up Matt's moonsault. It was perfect, and the crowd roared. I couldn't help but smile. Someday, they'd do that for my moonsault.

The ref counted and held up Matt's hand in victory, then Matt slid out of the ring, grabbed his half of the tag title belts, and ran around the ring, giving high-fives to the front row. How could he be so friendly to the crowd but such a jerk in real life? These fans liked him, sure. They'd never seen how cold and callous he really is.

"I don't get it," I moaned to myself.

"Don't get what?"

I turned, surprised. I didn't know anyone had been listening. Jeff watched me, concerned at my sudden outburst. Seeing Jeff just reminded me more of what a jerk Matt could be. I don't know why I suddenly felt the urge to bitch about Matt to Jeff. Maybe so he could see that I saw what he was going through.

"It's just that..." I shrugged and noticed Matt coming down the aisle to us. "I'll tell you later."

Jeff raised a brow at me, confused. "Promise?"

I nodded. "Sure."

"All right. Well, I gotta go," Jeff said, jumping into action. Matt came back, taking a couple of deep breaths, and stopped with a smile when he saw Jeff and me. Jeff held his hand out then, when Matt took it, he pulled him into a brief hug. "Great match, man. My turn."

"Absolutely. Good luck." Matt patted Jeff on the shoulder as he let go, sending him on his way out to the ring. I watched this, confused further. How could Jeff be so nice to him after Matt treats him like he does? Matt looked at me, shortly, and I quickly looked away.

"Great match," I said, examining his boots.

"Thanks. Y'did good t'night, too."

I looked up quickly. That was uncharacteristic. I had 'escorted' Shannon to the ring and gotten the opportunity to use my moonsault on Jason, nothing spectacular. Matt watched me for a moment, silently, his chest rising and falling rhythmically as he tried to catch his breath from the match, and he rested his hands on his hips. His hair fell in damp ringlets onto his shoulders that were almost as dark as his eyes. It was really starting to get to me that I found him so attractive when I knew he was such a jerk. It was even worse that I knew I didn't need to mess with a man right now. My brain was starting to overanalyze everything again which was never a good thing. I searched for words. "Thanks..."

Matt examined my eyes again for a minute, then nodded perfunctorily with a dismayed smile and walked away. What the hell was that? I crossed my arms over my chest, defiantly, watching Matt walk away. I felt a hand on my shoulder and jumped slightly to fine Mike stepping past me to get backstage. I guess I was in the middle of things. I stepped back for a moment, letting Mike and Shane trade places. Once I found an out of the way corner, I started looking for Matt again. He had disappeared! Dammit! I mean, um, good! Good riddance. I went back to where I'd been watching before as Jeff and Shane started measuring each other up in the ring. This was the last match of the night. I always surprised that Matt booked himself as undercard, never fail. I would have expected him to try to push himself as the best ever. Whatever.

Finally Shane and Jeff locked up, and Jeff threw Shane into a corner. I noticed someone come up next to me and I looked up to see Shannon. He'd come to watch his best friend, Jeff, wrestle. Those two had a lot in common. They were both very laid back and had mostly the same interests, same sense of humor, but even beyond that. They looked alike, too. Similar build, Shannon was slightly smaller but much shorter than Jeff, same blonde hair, and same fashion sense. It was almost as if they were the brothers, not Matt and Jeff. I turned my attention back to the match. Jeff and Shane were putting on a hell of a match and the audience was marking out appropriately. They both hit their high spots, and Shane finished the match with his own invention, the VerteBreaker. Of course, that didn't sit well as Jeff was playing the face, but it had been a good match. Shane came back to some great heat and scored some high-fives from Shannon and me as he passed.

"Way t'go, man," Shannon added.

"Thanks," Shane grinned, then started looking around for someone.

"What're y'lookin' for?"

"Matt, seen him?"

"Yeah, he's watchin' on th'other side." Shannon gestured across the arena, and I finally noticed Matt, still in his wrestling gear, hanging back behind the crowd all the way across the arena, watching me. Er, Shane.

"Cool, man, thanks. Catch y'all later," he said, and started to make his way around the back towards where Matt was. Yeah, that was another one that confused me. Shane and Matt were great friends. God, I just couldn't understand how anyone could tolerate him, especially people like Shane and Jeff. Speaking of, Jeff finally stumbled out of the ring and towards the back, high-fiving the audience members as he passed, half-heartedly, still trying to sell Shane's offense. The funny thing was that as soon as he was out of the audience's view, he slumped even further. Jeff went out there and killed himself every show, but his 'selling' was usually less than he was really hurting. The poor kid. Of course, that never stopped him. He loved every minute of it, and didn't mind the aches. When he got back, a smirk formed on his face as he saw Shannon.

"That was great, man, killer."

"Thanks," Jeff said, now grinning. "I think th'whole show went well."

"Hell yeah," Shannon grinned. "Y'doin' all right?"

"Never been better," Jeff nodded, still smirking. He looked around, noticed me watching his conversation, and arched an eyebrow in my direction. I jumped, slightly surprised, then he turned back to Shannon for a second. "Hey, man, I'll catch y'later, I need t'talk t'Amy."

Wow, the memory on this kid was astounding. I bit my lip nervously, watching. Shannon grinned at me, and nodded.

"Sure, catch y'later."

Jeff handed off his belt of to Shannon then took a couple steps towards me, looking less pained with each step.

"Good match, kid."

Jeff smiled, as he towered over me. It didn't matter that he was bigger, more experienced, and more skilled - I was still older. But he thought it was funny when I called him kid.

"Thanks, sweetie. So what's up?"

"Don't you want to get changed or showered or anything?"

Jeff looked hurt. "Do I smell?"

I grinned. "I'm just asking..."

"I'm fine," Jeff grinned back, "but if y'don't want t'talk now, that's fine, too."

I sighed, shrugging. "I guess.. it doesn't really matter."

"C'mon, let's go out back. No one will be out there." Jeff slung an arm around my neck and almost pulled me off my feet to get me moving. I followed, not having much option.

"It's not really that big of a deal," I protested.

"Who said we're goin' t'talk 'bout you? I've got this growth on m'ass that I wanted y't' -"

"Jeff!" I cried, laughing and disgusted at the same time. He grinned and opened the door in front of us, still dragging me out.

"No, really, what's goin' on?" He asked, finally letting me go. I sighed and leaned up against the wall of the building. It was a cool seventy out, surprisingly nice for an April evening over here. Jeff slid over to stand in front of me, setting his hands on his hips, and watched me with concern.

"I'm not really sure.. I mean, it's nothing really..."

"Well, if y'not goin' t'talk 'bout you, I'm goin' t'talk about me." Jeff reached for his belt buckle. "Y'got t'see this thing, it's -"

"All right! All right!" I held up a hand to stop him, laughing again.

Jeff grinned again, nodding. "C'mon, spit it. Homesickness?"

I looked up at him, confused. "What makes you -"

"I've noticed that somethin's been botherin' y'since y'came here. Maybe b'fore, too, but I didn't know y'then. What's up? Is it th'wrestlin'?"

"No," I answered firmly, then I sighed. "I guess I'm a little homesick. But that's not the main thing, it's just that..."

Jeff waited. Jesus, now I didn't want to cause trouble between brothers. I started to wonder what Jeff would do if I told him that I thought Matt was an ass. I mean, he must have known it, but I didn't think I had the right to say it. I sighed. It was too late now. I might as well tell him. But nicer. Um. "It's Matt."

Jeff smiled. "Really?"

Why was he smiling? "Yeah."

"I thought I saw that."

"What?"

"Y'like Matt?"

I did a double take. "What?!"

Jeff hesitated, surprised. "Or not...?"

"No, most definitely not."

Now Jeff frowned. "What's wrong?"

"It's just.. well, he treats everyone like shit around here. Like he's better than everyone." There, I just said it straight out. Jeff's eyes grew wide with surprise. Well, I guess he wasn't expecting that. He moved his mouth as if he wanted to say something, but nothing came out. "I mean, even you. Especially you. He just orders everyone around and doesn't seem to care about anyone."

"No, no way, that's not it at all," Jeff said quickly, finally getting his tounge back. "He jus' wants t'help us. He pushes us t'be th'best. He has a profound desire t'get everyone here int' th'WWF. Maybe he is a li'l abrupt, but it's not that he doesn't care, that's jus' his work ethic."

I sighed, crossing my arms over my chest. "I don't know..."

"An' trust me, he doesn't treat me bad at all. We've been doin' this f'years, that's jus' how we work. We know each other so well, we don't need t'say most things, we jus' know. One thing I know, though, is that he doesn't think he's better than anyone. If he did, he wouldn't push himself so hard. Why d'y'think he's always bustin' his ass out there? He wants every match to be twice as good as th'last. Maybe his pushin' himself trickles down t'his pushin' us every once in a while, but what we see is nothin' compared t'what he does t'himself."

Now it was my turn to sputter for words.

"Oh, Amy, don't let that get t'you. Are y'worried 'bout how y'are performin' here?"

"A little."

"Y'want t'impress us?"

I sighed. "Yeah."

"Y'are. Very much so. You're awesome, no lie. Matt an' I see it. An' everyone else, too."

"I don't know about that.."

"Now that's somethin' y'have in common with Matt. Y'are both overachievers."

I blushed. "Thanks, Jeff."

"C'mere," he said, reaching out for me. I pushed off the wall and went to his arms for a hug. I held onto him more firmly than I intended to. He was the first person who I'd hugged since I was last home, and it had been a while. He noticed my reaction and squeezed me gently, reassuringly. "Everythin' will be jus' fine, trust me. Jus' do me a favor."

I smiled, laying my head on his chest. "As long as it doesn't involve your ass..."

Jeff laughed. "No, not this time at least. Jus' give Matt another chance. I promise you, he's really a great person."

I let go off Jeff and he let me back up. Give Matt another chance? I looked up to him, uncertainly. "We'll see."

"I guess I'll have t'take that f'now. But consider it, all right?"

"I'll consider it."

"All right, now let's go inside. I need t'take a shower," he said as he slung his arm over my neck again, drawing my head unknowingly towards his armpit.

"Man, you're telling me!" I shot back, shoving his arm off me.

Jeff laughed and pulled the door open for me. I started in, looking back and laughing at Jeff, and almost ran into someone who'd been about to push the door open from the other side. I stopped laughing as I found my nose inches from Matt's chest. Looking up quickly, I saw a look of surprise in Matt's face. I took a step back and ran into Jeff.

"Hey, man," Jeff said, calmly, over my head. He set a hand on my shoulder to help me keep my balance. "What's up?"

"I was lookin' in the locker room f'you, an' Shannon said I could find y'out here. I wanted t'go over some numbers with you b'fore we went home."

"Sure, man, let me take a quick shower first."

I was frozen into place, watching Matt, still intimidated. Matt looked from Jeff down to me for a second, with mixed look. I couldn't tell if it was disdain or sorrow. I felt very uncomfortable. His eyes looked almost black in the dim light of the doorway and they seemed to look right through me, as if he knew how much he scared me.

I don't know how much time went by, but, finally, Jeff sidestepped me, patting my shoulder. "I'll catch y'later, Amy. Keep y'chin up, you'll be fine."

I looked to him, greatful for an excuse to break the glance with Matt.

"Thanks, Jeff. I'm going to..." Dammit, some how I'd met Matt's glance again and froze. I stuttered for a second. "Um.. y'know.. I'll..."

I pointed the other direction with my thumb and smiled, blushing and feeling dumb. Matt watched and I backed up a couple steps before turning around and lowering my head in embarrassment. Give him another chance, my ass. I just wanted to get away. Which is what I did.


	5. 5 of 6

"Hello, you've reached the Dumas residence. Nobody's home, but if you leave a message, we'll get back to you as soon as possible."

Then a harsh beep. I hung up the phone quickly. God, I just wanted to hear her voice again. Even if it was taped on a machine. I pulled the calling card back out of my pocket and dialed the eleven thousand numbers it took to put a call through. Finally the phone started ringing again.

Once. Twice. Three times, four, five, here it comes.

"Hello, you've reached the Dumas residence. Nobody's home, but if you leave a message, we'll get back to you as soon as possible."

Short but sweet. Beep.

"Hi, Ma. It's me, Amy."

I paused. Duh, she knew that.

"Are you there?"

I actually waited a second. I knew that she wasn't.

"I just wanted to let you know that I'm... traveling tomorrow. Some of the guys are going to an NWA show. It's supposed to be a big deal... I don't know. Matt is trying to find out if there's anyway to get me a match. I just thought I'd let you know. If I can do this, it's a really great experience. Well, I'll call you back later, we're about to do a show here.

"I love you."

Hang up the phone, Amy, she's not going to say it back. I swallowed and grudgingly placed the pay phone receiver back in its cradle. Well, that was that. Time to go. I turned away and head back towards the main part of the building, where the arena was, checking a clock on the wall. The doors would open soon.

"Amy?"

I froze when I heard my name called from behind me. That would be Matt. I turned slowly and saw him jogging slightly to catch up with me.

"Hi."

"Hey there," he smiled hesitantly. "I, ah, was thinkin'. Y'should get involved in a better match t'night. Y'been workin' with Shannon f' a while now, but I want y't'be in Jeff's an' my match t'night. In Jeff's corner."

"Jeff's corner?" I repeated, unable to form my own words.

"I was thinkin' y'could debut y'new hurrican rana t'night."

"On you?" I asked, taken aback.

He nodded. "Absolutely. Jeff an' I were talkin' 'bout it, he thinks it's a good idea, too."

"Um, ok," I answered with my only real option.

"Great. Let's find Jeff, we'll figure out what we want y't'do."

"Ok," I said, somewhat numbly. I was just figuratively shot to the top of the card. I didn't really know what to say. I just fell into step with Matt, silently. Why did he do this? Did Jeff tell him to? Matt made it sound like it'd been his idea. As we reached the rest of the guys, I saw everyone doing their own personal warm-ups. I looked around for Jeff, but I didn't know where he was. I felt kinda detatched from the situation. Maybe it was nerves, I was suddenly anxious to perform tonight. I was fighting Matt. Jesus, he was intimidating enough to just talk to. What if I messed up tonight? How did he have all this faith in me? I was snapped out of my little reverie when I noticed Matt watching me, expectantly. Oh, he must have said something.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"I said that I can't seem t'find Jeff. Mind if we jus' go over th'match?"

"Um, sure."

Matt nodded and started talking. Obviously, he'd planned the match out with Jeff already. "...What y'have t'pay attention to is m'tornado DDT. After I hit that, I'm goin' t'get up an' go f'm'leg drop, but you're goin' t'be on the turnbuckle an' do y'hurrican rana. Ok?"

"Ok," I repeated, nodding my head and looking serious.

Matt smiled at me and set a hand on my shoulder. "Y'goin' t'do fine. Take a couple breaths an' relax. We're th'last match, so y'got some time. Take it easy, all right?"

Who the hell was this? I stared at him, shocked. My mouth was gaping, I'm sure. I'd never seen this before. Trying to regain my composure, I nodded again and closed my mouth. "Ok, thanks."

"Jeff an' I will find y'b'fore th'match, ok?" He looked at me with a slight smile. I got the feeling he was trying to not laugh at my shock. I just nodded again and he let go of me and walked away.

Escorting Jeff? That'd make me the face, not that that mattered here. People would pop for me just for being a girl. I looked down at myself. I had changed already, I was originally a lot earlier on the card. Ah well, no need to change out of wrestling gear. Wandering around for a bit, I watched the boys chat as they waited for the show to start. Matt and Jeff had taken off somewhere, but for the most part, everyone was hanging around. Again, I think it was the nerves, but the evening took on a slightly timeless mood. Before I even knew what was happening, the show had started. One match right after the other, I watched some, missed others. I was so distracted. I tried stretching, but halfway through, I'd forget what I was doing. Dammit. It wasn't a matter of debuting a new move, or being billed at the top of the card. It wasn't even a matter of the slightly larger size of the audience. Getting in the ring with Matt scared the fuck out of me. I was still slightly numb from when he first told me I'd be doing it.

"Snap out of it, Amy." Ah ha, this is great. Now I'm talking to myself. No, seriously, I had to get straight. I had to do good. I had to be perfect, and impress him. He was putting a lot of expectations on me. A lot of pressure.

"No problem, no problem, I can handle this." Internal monologue, kid, use it. Good thing no one was paying attention to my pacing and rambling. I made the overwhelming effort to stand in one place and keep my mouth shut. It was harder than I expected. Sighing, I leaned against the nearest wall and watched. The Serial Thrillaz were fighting -

The Serial Thrillaz? That was the second to last...

I looked around, expectantly, and found Jeff walking towards me in wrestling gear, sporting a huge grin.

"Are y'ready?"

I wrung my hands together slightly nervously. In my mind, I wasn't really allowed to say no to him either. "Hell yeah."

"Hey, great enthusiasm. Why didn't y'go int'acting?" Jeff smirked at me and I sighed. I looked up to his clear hazel eyes only to be met by a gentle smile and a hair tousle. "Y'goin' t'do fine. I know it."

"Me too," I answered again, trying to sound more confident.

"Y'gettin' better," He said, almost laughing. He tried again to fire me up. "Ready t'go?"

I took a deep breath and watched Shane and Mike come back from their loss. Finally, I nodded to Jeff and clapped my hands with a sudden spurt of emotion. Here it came, at last. "Let's go!"

I knew that the adrenaline would kick in sooner or later. Jeff grinned at my sudden excitement and we went to the end of the aisle to the ring.

"Where's Matt?" I asked, uncharacteristically. Jeff looked at me, slightly surprised that I asked.

"I'm here. Let's do this." Jeff and I looked up at the same time and I and found myself dwarfed between Matt and Jeff. They grinned at each other and Matt held out his hands to Jeff, palms down, with his fingers half curled under. Jeff did the same and they touched knuckles together. I watched, in slight awe. Maybe that Matt that Jeff had tried to tell me about way back when did exist. The action, all in all, took only a split second, but I noticed, for the first time, a strong connection between the two. Then, Matt started out to the ring, suddenly fired up and yelling at the crowd. I looked to Jeff, confused.

"What was that?"

"Knucks. Pre-match ritual. Let's go!"

He grabbed my hand and tugged me out, but let go as soon as we got moving. We mimicked Matt's general actions, but much nicer. The crowd wasn't that large, but it was pretty big for us. They popped appropriately as we reached the ring. And the match began. For the first part of the match, I was playing a valet. When Jeff did good, I cheered. When Matt did good, I pouted. I always knew that when I became famous my first goal would be to change this current image of women wrestlers. But as things stood right now, Matt had back-body-dropped Jeff onto the mat, so I started pounding the mat with my hand to encourage Jeff. The crowd followed me, clapping their support. I did this until Matt took a couple menacing steps towards me, and I backed off frightened. He glared down at me from the ring. Good acting on his part, but mine came a little more natural.

Matt went back to Jeff who was slowly getting to his feet. He still had his wind, unlike Jeff, and grabbed Jeff quickly and hit a tornado DDT. That was my cue. I grabbed the bottom rope and vaulted myself up onto the side of the ring. Matt stood up with his back to me, holding his arms out for some heel heat. Instead, the crowd popped for me, climbing the ropes. Matt turned to come over to the corner, but it was time to act. I dove, feet first.

From there, time seemed to slow down. It was wrong, very wrong.

There was time enough for me to notice that I was too far from Matt, I wouldn't be able to hook my legs. There was time enough for me to imagine my sudden impending doom. It would be a broken neck, first. Maybe some cracked vertebrae. The backs of my calves would slide off Matt's chest and I'd land on my head. Pretty damn hard. Fuck.

Suddenly, I felt strong hands catch just above my knees. Close enough for me. I swung my shoulders to the right and tried to complete the move. I didn't have the right leverage, but Matt managed a standing flip and safely dropped me on my stomach. I somehow rolled out of the ring and dropped to the outside, holding my stomach to sell the move. Jesus Christ, that was crazy. It had seemed so slow, but I knew it must have been insanely fast. Matt was really thinking on his feet.

Jeff rolled over onto Matt and got the pin. I jumped up, still holding my stomach, and cheered. Sliding right back in the ring, I held Jeff's hand up in victory. The audience popped, and Jeff and I helped carry each other backstage again. Out of character, I cast a glance back to Matt as we left. He was laying on his back still, not moving except for the exhausted rising and falling of his chest. I could hardly believe he'd done that. I knew I was done for, though. He probably thought I was a bust. Dammit, my first big chance to impress him and I'd blow it.

"Hey, Amy, are y'all right?"

"Do y'know how close y'head was t'th'ground?"

"Y'lucky that was Matt, I wouldn't have been able t'save y'like that!"

"Y'goin' t'be ok?"

I was assaulted with a barage of reminders of the fuck up. Thanks guys. I let go of Jeff as soon as I got backstage and held up a halting hand to all the questioners. "I'm fine, thanks."

"Amy," Jeff started, sympathetic, but I took off. I was so embarrassed. I heard footsteps behind me, Jeff was following me, but he stopped after a second when he realized I didn't want to talk. I walked around the tiny building, lost. I didn't know where anything was, much less where I could go. Finally, when I decided that I was far enough from everyone, I leaned against a cold, cinderblock wall, then slid down to the floor, burying my face in my hands. I wasn't crying, this wouldn't make me cry. I was embarrassed, yes, but I wasn't about to cry. Goddammit, how could I do that? I'd hit that 'rana perfectly on practically every guy in OMEGA by now, but the first time I try it on Matt...

I heard footsteps. Someone was coming. Keep walking, Jeff, keep walking. He didn't, I heard him crouch in front of me. I will not look up, I will not look at him. He set a hand on the side of my face, a soft caress. I was caught off guard, Jeff had never touched me this gently before. It didn't matter, I wasn't in the mood for it.

"Fuck off -" I froze as I looked up at him. It was all kinds of not Jeff. Matt's dark eyes captured my glance, and a slight smiled played on his lips. I swallowed to wet my tounge then quickly added, "I'm sorry."

His smile didn't so much grow as spread to his eyes, which sparkled with amusement. "Y'did good t'night."

I watched him, speechless. Did he just...? What do I...? With the amused look still on his face, he let go of my face, got to his feet and walked away. I watched him leave, slack-jawed and confused.


	6. 6 of 6

It was early. I checked my watch. And he was late. Jeff said he'd be here to pick me up around two, and it was now quarter after. I had felt pretty dumb, I hadn't even bothered asking what kind of car Jeff drove. After I'd recovered from my humiliation last night, Jeff finally found me. He told me that Matt still didn't know if I'd get a match at this NWA event today, but he thought I should go anyway, even if it was just to watch. Jeff said he was going to pick up some of the other guys so we could car pool and offered to drive me, so I accepted. And he said he'd be here at two.I dropped my duffel bag on the doorstep of my apartment complex and sat down next to it, leaning against the building and closing my eyes. I had trouble sleeping last night, I couldn't clear my mind. I kept replaying that stupid hurrican rana in my mind. Ah, there it was again, as soon as I closed my eyes. I pushed it out of my head quickly, focusing on the hot sun beating down on my. It would be a scorcher today, that was for sure. Hot, and the humidity was null. I could feel all the moisture evaporate from my skin as I waited.

Suddenly, I heard a loud engine growling and opened my eyes. Growling? More like wheezing. It sounded like a car with a missing muffler. Or a diesel. God, if Jeff drove a diesel... I looked up and saw a massive, ancient, decrepit truck. My God, I was surprised that thing was still running, it was so old and dirty. Too much backroading for that vehicle.

Wait a minute. If Jeff was supposed to pick up a couple of the guys... did he honestly expect us all to fit in a pick-up? Maybe it was a new neighbor, not Jeff. I raised my eyes from the grill to the driver's seat.

Shit.

That was not Jeff.

The truck shuddered into silence and the tall, dark driver opened the door and slid out of the truck. Even for Matt, the truck was so big he had to jump to the ground. Oh dear God. Suddenly this trip went from normal to terrifying.

"Hey there."

"Um," I started, intelligently as usual.

"I can explain," Matt started, sounding apologetic. I got to my feet and watched him silently. He didn't need to explain, I wouldn't question. "See, th'car died this mornin'. That's why I'm late. Jeff an' I were tryin' t'resuscitate th'jalopy, but no dice. It's done for. So we called some of th'guys, and found transportation f'most th'guys, but not quite. So I borrowed m'dad's truck."

Was he blushing? He continued.

"It's not much, but it'll get us there." I watched him blankly. He sighed. "I hope."

"Oh," I said. Super.

"If y'want, I bet we can switch some of the riders around, y'can ride in a normal car an' we'll stick Jeff an' me with this beast."

Yes! Please!

Amy, don't say that.

"No, no, it's fine," I said, uncertainly. Matt nodded, walking over towards me. I hesitated as he came close to me, but he just leaned over and grabbed my bag.

"Is this all you're bringin'?"

"Oh, I can get it," I started, reaching over.

"I got it," he said with a smile, then went back to the truck. I watched him set the bag over behind his seat, then get back in the truck. Finally, I realized that it might be a good idea for me to get in the truck, too. Going over to the other door, Matt unlocked it and I opening the door carefully, afraid it might fall off. I examined the prospect of climbing in the truck. It was one of those old trucks with one large bench seat made out of pleather. I bet that would be fun when the day got warmer, as I assumed the truck did not have air conditioning. Maybe not the best day for a backless halter top, but it was too late for that. Matt watched me, then made a sudden motion to get out of the truck. "Oh, d'y'need..."

He trailed off as I vaulted myself up into the truck and smiled softly. "I can get it."

Matt smiled. "Ok, well, Jeff an' th'other guys are on th'road, too, so I guess we'd better get goin'."

I nodded and Matt started up the truck. It took a second, but it started.

"Y'might want t'roll down y'window," he started. "It's goin' t'get warm."

I nodded, silently, and did so. As soon as we pulled out of my parking lot, I realized we were sitting in silence. Not even a radio? This was going to be bad. Just then, however, Matt reached over and pressed a tape into a tape deck that obviously did not belong to that truck. The tape he put in was connected to a discman, and Matt pushed a button on that as well, not taking his eyes off the road. Oh boy, here we go. Hank Williams? Willie Nelson? I bit my lip, nervously. I hated country music.

Pearl Jam, Vitalogy. What? Matt pressed a button a couple more times and skipped to 'Not for You.' I watched surprised for a second, then smiled. Matt looked over to me.

"Oh, did y'want t'listen t'that? I was listenin' t'this b'fore, I didn't feel like listenin' t'those songs again."

"No, no, it's fine," I answered, still smiling.

"What?" He asked after a moment, smiling curiously.

"I was just expecting... something else."

"What'd y'think I listen to?"

"Honestly?" Matt nodded and I wrinkled my nose, showing obvious disgust. "Country."

Matt laughed, good naturedly, and shook his head. "If y'were worried 'bout listenin' t'that, it's a good thing y'didn't ride with Jeff. He's been on a Shania Twain kick lately."

Now it was my turn to laugh. "Are you serious? I would never have guessed!"

"I know, it's terrible," he moaned. I laughed again and he reached behind his seat, still watching the road. "Th'radio doesn't come in t'well in th'truck, so I brought some CDs, we can listen t'anythin' y'want."

He plunked down about six CD cases between us, and I looked at them, absently.

"No, this is fine. I like Pearl Jam."

"I love Pearl Jam," Matt grinned. "M'favorite."

I picked up the CD cases absently and looked at them. Soundgarden, Temple of the Dog, Pearl Jam, Tool, another Pearl Jam, Stone Temple Pilots, and Blind Melon. A little more mellow than what I usually listen to, but not bad. I opened the Stone Temple Pilots case, having not seen that CD in a while, but it turned out to be Faith No More.

"That's not mine." I looked up and saw Matt casting glances between the CD and the road, smiling to himself. "I must have grabbed that from Jeff's stuff."

I smiled. "Ah."

I started looking through the other cases. I found that STP CD, Purple, in the Blind Melon case, the Temple of the Dog CD in one of the Pearl Jam cases, an actual Pearl Jam CD in the other case, but not the one it should have been, the Black Crows in Tool case, and it went downhill from there. At least he was organized, I smirked to myself.

I stopped. Wait a minute. Was I honestly sitting here, in this truck with Matt, and laughing? Having a good time? I looked up to Matt, curiously. He was watching the road, and mouthing the words to the song. 'Nothingman.' What was going on here? Wasn't this the man who scared the hell out of my because he was such an asshole? Jeff had said to give him another chance, but... maybe he was right.

"And he who forgets will be destined to remember..."

So maybe he didn't have the best singing voice. But it was cute.

Cute? Did I just say it was cute? Something Matt did? What was wrong with me? I looked him over, which, in retrospect, was a bad idea. I knew he was attractive. His brown eyes, almost hidden behind thick eyelashes and a generally brooding look examined the road ahead of us, concentrating completely. The dedication Jeff had mentioned seemed to be noticeable in all facets of his life. His muscles showed his dedication to staying in excellent shape, his...

What was I thinking? I turned away, suddenly, putting my hand on my head and leaning up against the door. I was getting too confused. I wanted to get away. I was stuck here for... Jesus, I didn't even know how long this drive was! We'd only been on the road for, what, ten minutes?

"Y'all right?"

I turned back to Matt slowly. He watched me, slightly concerned. "Hm?"

"Are y'all right?"

I blushed. "Ah, yeah, I, ah..."

Matt's face fell, and he turned back to the road. Dammit again. I looked back out the window. Why did I insist on always being a bitch? Would it be that hard for me to be nice to him? He's been so helpful, he's taught me so much... argh.

We drove in silence for a while. A damn long while. It felt weird. The CD ended. Matt looked up at me for a second, but I just examined the telephone poles on the sides of the road and felt the wind blow my hair behind my face. I heard him shuffling around the CD cases and he started a new CD... Superunknown.

"Why did you say I did good last night?" I asked, suddenly. I turned as I spoke, fixing my hair behind my ear, and saw Matt flinch slightly - as if he wanted to look at me but changed his mind at the last minute.

"'Cause y'did do good."

"No I didn't, I completely missed that hurrican rana."

"Maybe, but when I caught you, y'weren't thrown off by th'mistake. I was actually intendin' t'swing y' back up f'a powerbomb, but when y'kept goin' f'th'rana I knew it had t'happen. I was impressed that y'kept y'cool and kept goin'."

"Oh," I practically whispered, feeling shitty for sounding so accusatory. And the silence fell again. I went back to my telephone poles. After a good fifteen minutes or so, Matt finally spoke again. But it wasn't good.

"What the..." He reached out and tapped the instruments behind the steering wheel. And he swore under his breath. I turned to look. The temperature gauge was rather high, that looked to be the only thing out of the ordinary. It was hot out, but we weren't in traffic - to say the least. I hadn't seen another car on this road for at least fourty-five minutes. We were actually in the middle of nowhere. Matt had been taking backroads.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"I'm not sure," he answered hesitantly. He started to brake slightly, but the engine stalled. He continued to brake, pulling off the road. As soon as the truck came to a complete stop, the engine came to a complete stop as well. Matt shifted the truck into park, then tried the key. The starter cranked slower than it should have, so Matt let go of it. The engine was still too hot. I looked up to Matt, curiously. He swore once again, then smacked his hand on the steering wheel and gritted his teeth. "Well, that shouldn't have happened."

"Let's look under the hood," I suggested. Matt leaned back in the seat, frustrated, and nodded slowly.

"I should'a checked th'engine out better b'fore takin' th'truck," he responded, sighing halfheartedly. He didn't move for a minute, and I realized that he was waiting a minute for the engine to cool. He was watching the gauges behind the wheel steadily, as if they held the answers as to what was wrong with the truck in their 'off' position. Then he closed his eyes, laying his head back on the seat. I'd never seen him like this before, so... so frustrated.

I was suddenly forced to repress an almost overwhelming desire to console him. Matt, who'd always been so strong, so in control. It felt wrong to see him like this. I'd been jonesing for it for a while now, but when it came down to it, I didn't want to see it. It almost ruined a couple of ideals. Sure, it brought him down to earth, showed him to not be as perfect as I had imagined, but I finally realized that I had actually admired him for that. For not letting anything get to him. For being the complete opposite of me.

I sighed. At this, he sat up and looked at me, smiling shortly, then turned away instinctively. Huh. And just like that he was better. I cocked my head, confused, as Matt opened the door and jumped out of the truck. Well, I guess that was that. It couldn't have been more than thirty seconds. I opened my door and leaped to the ground on my side, then met Matt around the front of the truck. Matt had his hand under the front of the hood and I heard a click. Matt held the hood down and looked at me, briefly.

"Back up." He commanded. I looked at him, surprised. He continued. "Jus' in case."

I took a step back as Matt lifted the hood and - nothing happened. He had backed up pretty quickly himself, as far as his arm would reach, just in case. We both approached the truck. The engine, like the rest of the truck, was old and dirty. Matt latched up the hood and started examining the engine. Now, I didn't know much about engines, and it didn't help that this was particularly old, too. Holding my hands behind my back, I looked over it, trying to think of anything that could be wrong with it. Matt began to mutter.

"We filled th'coolant b'fore we left, an'..."

I realized he was talking to himself. I looked at the extension tank as he spoke and saw the coolant level was fine. Matt addressed me suddenly. "Could y'look in th'backseat f'a greasy, old towel? I think it's blue..."

I nodded and went back to the cab. The towel was laying on the floor behind my seat and I grabbed it, going right back to Matt.

"Thanks," he said, taking the towel, absently. I nodded, even though he didn't notice. I didn't want to distract him. He was about to use the towel to follow one of the hoses from the radiator when he stopped. I looked up to his face which fell quickly. Not good. A dark gleam ran over his eyes and he gritted his teeth again. I had a feeling I was about to hear a very un-Matt comment.

"Fuckin' shit."

"What?"

"Y'see that?" he asked, pointing to a large circular object that I was unfamiliar with.

"Yeah," I answered, drawing it out for further explanation.

Matt obliged. "That drives th'water pump f'th'coolin' system."

"Wouldn't it need some kind of belt there, then, to..." I trailed off, realizing the answer. "Oh."

"Yeah," Matt sighed.

"How'd we get this far without that belt?"

"Oh, it's there. See? Underneath there. I jus' can't fit m'hand in there. Doesn't matter, it's broken. Must have fallen off."

As Matt was talking, I saw the belt he was referring to. I could get my hand in there, so I did. I picked up the belt, surprised I didn't burn myself, then handed it to Matt.

"Thanks," he repeated, and looked at the belt, frowning. "Yeah, see? It's frayed on th'edges 'cause it most likely hasn't been touched since we got th'truck. Prolly caught on somethin' an'tore, or just tore due t'age. Great."

"So what do we do now?"

"Call Jeff. Tell him that we're stranded."

"We're stranded?"

"Pretty much. Unless y'got an extra water pump drive belt on ya."

I stepped back from the truck, biting my lip, and crossed my arms over my chest. Great. "Where are we?"

"We jus' went through Fayetteville 'bout fifteen minutes ago. Technically, this is a place I like t'call th'middle of nowhere."

Hey, even better.

"We could start walkin', but it'd be a long time b'fore we found anythin' worth while. We're closer t'Jeff than we are t'Cameron. He'd get here quicker."

"Not that there's anything in Cameron that could help us now," I muttered.

Matt thought about that for a second and raised a brow, realizing how true that was. I walked away, annoyed. I had left my home, my friends, my family, my mom to end up stranded in the middle of nowhere, North Carolina? With the one person I truly didn't like?

I hesitated after that comment, but, in my mind, unduly. If he would have taken the main roads, there'd be tons of cars whizzing by right now who could help us. But no, farm boy here had to take backroads. And no signs, we were in rural Cumberland County, not even a freaking city. How the hell was Jeff even supposed to find us? Matt walked behind me back to the truck and got in the cab. I watched him produce an old cell phone. One of those huge boxy ones. He opened it up and started dialing a number. A lot of numbers, then he started listening to it. He made himself comfortable, sitting sideways in the truck with his feet hanging out towards the road, leaving the door open. He just didn't seem very concerned with the whole ordeal. I, however, was growing angrier with the moment. I didn't go anywhere near the truck, I wouldn't be able to sit now. I started pacing.

This was perfect, just perfect.

"I hope y'not in any hurry," Matt called to me. I turned and saw him walking towards me.

"What?"

"Jeff's jus' outside Concord, still with th'boys. That means he wants t'drop them off there then come get us. He figures he can't do anythin' without me anyway, we were booked in a tag match, but he might as well let th'guys get there. Then he's gonna turn around an' get us."

"Oh."

"'Bout an hour," Matt answered the question I was afraid to ask. "'Course, th'way Jeff drives, could be 'bout half that."

I nodded and tried to calm down. There was no need to get mad, there was nothing either of us could do about it now. I think the pacing had helped clear my head.

"Ok."

Matt watched me steadily for a minute, then frowned again. He lowered his head and went back to the truck. I watched him, not moving from my position about ten feet in front of the truck, as he started digging around in the cab. He finally emerged with a tattered blanket that he tossed over his shoulder. He left the windows of the truck rolled down, then went around to the back. I took a couple small steps towards him, curious as to what he was doing. He unlocked the back gate and opened the back, then unfolded the blanket and laid it out. I continued my slow approach, reaching the hood of the truck.

Matt continued to ignore me, if he did actually notice me, and I hesitated. He finished smoothing down the blanket which ended up covering a small portion of the truck bed, hanging off the end. He finally looked up at me, causing me to jump slightly.

"What -" I started, but Matt began speaking at the same time.

"I didn't think y'wanted t'sit in th'cab, since it's so hot, but th'back was so dirty, I figured y'wouldn't want t'sit there either."

There was coldness in his voice. As if he was being nice because he had to - maybe he felt guilty. As much as I wanted to, I knew I couldn't ignore forced politeness. I swallowed and crossed over to Matt. He jumped up on the back of the truck as I approached, sitting on the dirty door.

"You don't have to -"

"S'all right," Matt cut me off. My turn to hang my head now, and that I did. Humbly, I climbed onto the bed of the truck, placing myself delicately on the blanket. Not so much delicately as hesitantly. I suddenly realized that every terrible thing I had thought about Matt was either going to come true or blow up, right in my face. In the next hour or so, until Jeff showed up.

Great.

Matt leaned over, resting his elbow on the side of the truck. "Y'know, I've driven down this road lots of times. I can't remember one time I've ever seen another car."

"That's reassuring."

"Yeah. Good thing Jeff's on his way."

I nodded, looking away. This was starting to get weird. We fell into silence for a while. It was getting warmer as the day wore on. It must have been after three by now, and a dry wind was picking up, blowing my hair around, so I secured it behind my ears. And sat in silence again. I think a tumbleweed blew by.

"Are y'afraid of me?"

I paused. Time for another intelligent comment. "Um..."

"Why?"

"I... ah... I..."

Matt sighed. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean anythin'."

I took a deep breath before saying anything. "I'm sorry I'm always so mean to you."

"Y'not mean t'me."

"Yeah I am."

Matt shrugged. "Maybe."

I looked up at him quickly. I hadn't expected him to say that. A half smile played on his lips, and I couldn't help but smile.

"I think we've had a misunderstandin'," he continued. I smiled halfheartedly and turned away again. Hm, corny.

"Maybe."

"Do y'regret comin' here?"

"No!" I insisted, examining my hands folded in my lap. "You guys have really helped me, and I appreciate it. I think I'm learning a lot."

"Then it's me?"

"Matt..."

"I jus' don't understand what I did wrong."

I looked over to him, slowly, and he caught my eyes immediately. I swear there was some kind of magnetic force in his dark eyes, I could never bring myself to look away. And for some reason unknown to me, I think he was almost smiling.

"Your mistake was... why are you so interested in me, anyway?"

"Do I need reasons?"

"Well, no, I guess. But..."

"I don't really have any. I think that's why I'm so interested."

"What?"

"Any other girl, it's like, 'Oh, she has a nice smile.' Or 'She's funny.' But I can't pin down why I can't get y'out of m'head. An' that makes y'interestin' t'me." I stared at him, surprised. I hadn't expected that, either. I couldn't quite decide if it was flattering or not. Finally, he looked away from me, shrugging. It was surprising how much easier it was to think when he wasn't watching me. He leaned back on his arms. "Or maybe it's 'cause there's too many things t'name."

I knew I was blushing now. God, he was just so straightforward about it. I guess he figured I already knew so there was no reason to hide anything.

"It wasn't really anything you did wrong," I started, leaning forward, feeling as if it might be ok to collapse in on myself. "It's just that we're so different. We don't have anything in common."

"Y'like wrestlin'?" Matt asked. It was innocent but direct. I sighed, still not looking up.

"I mean, personality-wise. You are so... so... certain. Everything has to be your way and in it's place, everything has to run like clockwork. You've known what you wanted to do with your life since you were a kid. You've worked at it forever, not letting anything deter you. You've probably never had to deal with people throwing monkey wrenches in the system. You've lived in the same town your whole life, been doing the same thing. Everything just works out for you." Oh, shit. I could feel the tears flood up to my eyes. I didn't want to cry in front of Matt. Talking about how in control he was was about to prove how out of control I was. As I felt the first couple of tears roll down my face, I suddenly found myself talking again. "You've didn't have to make new friends every year in school because you moved so much. You didn't have to leave behind everything you knew and confront a new, foreign place every year or two growing up. Hell, I'm so addicted to that lifestyle that I still can't stay in one place, even now that my family can."

I sighed shakily, crying freely now. My voice was almost cracking, my nose was running, and my face was soaking wet. "You don't know what it's like to have your mom be your best friend because she's the only one who's known you long enough to really know you."

Complete silence. There, I'd said it. Now he would understand. I sniffled again and wiped away some tears. Talk about humiliating. That was a stupid reason to cry. I knew it was more the stress of everything right now, but... I guess I just felt like releasing. It seemed that Matt had no response. Until, at least, I felt a strong arm pull me towards a warm body. I let myself cry, now, as Matt put another arm around me, embracing me. I leaned against him, constantly wiping my face, and he smoothed my hair methodically. I felt his chest rise and fall with a deep sigh.

"No. I don't know what that's like."

I took another deep, shaky breath, nodding slightly. See? Now he -

"M'mother died when I was nine."

I froze. Dammit, I'd done it again. I just couldn't seem to keep my foot out of my mouth around him. Another short silence.

"Cancer."

I looked up to him, shamefully. "Oh, Matt, I'm so sorry. I had no idea."

"I know, it's not a problem."

"No, it is. That was a terrible thing for me to have said."

"Y'didn't know. I understand why y'would think what y'think." He paused. "But it's not true."

"What?"

"It's not all perfect. It never really runs like clockwork."

"I just meant -"

"It'd be nice if it did, once in a while," he chuckled. I felt his chest shake at that and suddenly realized our proximity. I thought I should try to get out of his arms, but something stopped me. Instead, I dropped one of my arms behind him, holding on to him as well. He looked down at me, surprised, but I just smiled softly. He returned the look. "I went t'college for a year, but dropped out."

"I didn't know that."

"Yeah, I was goin' t'be an engineer." He laughed slightly again.

"Me too," I finally added.

"Y'were goin' t'be an engineer?"

"No," I smiled. "I went to college for a year. And dropped out."

"Another thin' we have in common." At that, I dropped my arm. Um, I wasn't sure that was the direction I wanted to go yet. Matt recognized my hesitation and let go of me, as well. "I'm sorry."

"No, Matt, it's just..." He watched me to see where I was going with this. I bit my lip, and looked up into his eyes again. On purpose this time. It was decision time, Amy. Am I going to be nice? Can we be friends? Do I want to be more? I felt the magnetic force of his eyes once again, but it didn't seem quite as intimidating this time. The dry breeze that was blowing past us had loosened his hair, causing strands to fall on each side of his face. Oh, what the hell, I figured. Life's no fun if you don't try anything. I smiled slightly and brushed some of Matt's hair behind his ear. He smiled, he knew what came next.

I'm not sure who kissed who. I regretted it as soon as it began. But only because it was so nice. I hadn't really expected that, and I pulled away much later than I should have.

"I'm sorry."

"No need t'apologize. Y'did very well," Matt said, smiling and brushing some loose hair behind my ear. I sighed.

"That's not what I mean."

Matt frowned and dropped his hand. "Then what do y'mean?"

"I shouldn't have kissed you."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't know if I meant it."

Matt shrugged and turned away again, posting himself up on his arms. "Seemed like y'did t'me."

I sighed again, wrapping my arms over my stomach, feeling terrible. If only I wasn't so damn irrational.

"Listen, Amy," Matt started. "I jus' think that y'are over analyzin' this a little too much. Love shouldn't be this complicated."

Love? I looked up quickly, but Matt amended his statement. "F'lack of a better word. Y'are attracted t'who y'are attracted to. That's all."

I slouched once again. "I'm just afraid of..."

"Of what?"

"I don't really know."

"Y'know what they say..."

"What?"

"Fear's only a four letter word."

I knitted my brow. "Who says that?"

Matt shrugged. "Me."

I couldn't help but chuckle. I knew it was getting bad when I started to think his corny jokes were cute. "What, are you some kind of motivational speaker now?"

"So, first, y'are mean t'me, now y'are makin' fun of me?"

I heard the jocular tone of his voice and looked up to him with a grin.

"Maybe."

He put on an overexaggerated pout, which only caused me to laugh more.

"I'm just afraid because we are so different. I honestly think you are the complete opposite of me."

"That's not a bad thing. We can compensate f'each other. Y'make up f'what I lack, an' vice versa. We'll be a great team." He smiled at me again.

"You just have an answer for everything, don' t you?"

"Whatever it takes."

I looked him in the eye, once again, and sighed. I was so confused. He watched me, patiently, and smiled softly.

"Matt..."

He didn't move at all, just watched. I slowly unwrapped my arms from my stomach and set one of my hands on his much larger hand. That changed him, slightly, but not the smile. He sat up straight and flipped his hand to hold onto mine, but the smile stayed the same.

"Maybe we don't have to start over, Matt. Maybe just come at it from a different angle."

His smile grew. "Sounds good to me."


	7. Revision

A/N: Um, yes. Yes, this is a cheap way to get this story back up to the top. *smirks* Anyway, I wanted to thank all you lovely reviewers, you rule. But I'm sorry to say that that was the end of this story. *shrugs* I like abrupt endings. 

*SPOILER* They hooked up shortly after that. 

So, um, I know I promised a sequel, but after writing the intended sequel, I realized how godawful it was and destroyed all copies of it. Sorry for those of you who did read it. But, the fantasic-o Michelle has suggested that 'Attaining' could have been a sequel to it, and I like that muchly. So, go read 'Attaining'! It's not that bad, I promise. Not as bad as the original sequel, at least.

Oh, and as a thank you, I must direct everyone's attention to the writings of standing, as she is incredible at angsty and gooey stuff alike. Go, read! 


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